my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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