we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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