He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
