i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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