My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
