I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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