5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
