He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
