you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize