Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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