Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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