Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize