This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
