You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
