i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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