I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
