The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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