I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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