It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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