3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
