Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
