The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
