I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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