is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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