Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize