sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
