i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
