Will you blow on my dice?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
