the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize