respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
