On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She announced her abortion via fbk
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
