I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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