It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
