I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
