some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
