don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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