If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
