everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize