An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
