Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ladies don't puke and tell
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize