im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
