Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
