You can't motorboat a personality
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
