he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
