some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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