there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize