Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
