Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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