Can i not drive my cunt home
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
