I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
