porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You can't motorboat a personality
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
