Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
