Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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