My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
