matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
