My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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