i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize