Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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