fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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