do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
