why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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