I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I understand Curling. That high.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Can I color on your dick again?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
