Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
false alarm, still single
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