That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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