WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Screwed.edu
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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