ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
