yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
