I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
