what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
