I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
