Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
