She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
