please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
