Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
