SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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