He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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