im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My underwear smells like fireworks.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
