I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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