I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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