Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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